Earlier this week, Tamar Caspi wrote about finding her Jewishness. She is an advice columnist for JDate and has a syndicated column that has been published around the world since 2008. Her book, How to Woo a Jew: The Modern Jewish Guide to Dating and Mating, will be published by Seal Press on January 28th. She will be blogging here all week for Jewish Book Council and MyJewishLearning.
Dating is all about attitude. If you’re in a pissy mood about something totally unrelated to your date, or if you were forced to go on a blind date by your overbearing mother and you arrived and knew instantly that this was not your beshert, it would behoove you to still smile and try to enjoy yourself. Nothing is worse than indifference. What’s a Jew to do?
1. Smile. Smiling sends positive signals to your brain and tricks it into thinking you’re actually happy. And then you might actually find yourself having a good time.
2. Be nice. Remember that your beshert could be around the next corner. So be nice to everyone because you don’t know who they know. Your dud of a date could have a friend who is perfect for you. That girl who is checking people in at that singles mixer your friend dragged you to could catch your eye.
3. Have faith. We’re Jews, which means we are persistent people. Dating is a numbers game so you may have to kiss a few or a lot of frogs before you meet your prince or princess.
4. Take a break. If your attitude is just so down in the dumps, whether it’s dating-related or not, that you can’t bring yourself to have anything positive to say, then take a break from dating. You aren’t going to yourself any favors by having a negative attitude.
5. Fake it. Some people are not naturally peppy, but when creating an online dating profile or going out on what feels like your thousandth first date, you need to crank it up a notch. Ask questions, be a good listener, and open up. Having too big of a guard up is a huge let down.
Tamar Caspi's writing has appeared in publications like The Jerusalem Post, The New York Post, The Jewish Advocate, The San Diego Jewish Journal, and more. Caspi has a background in news, TV, radio, and marketing with a Bachelor of Arts in Women’s Studies from UCLA. She currently lives with her family in San Diego, California. Read more about her here.
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