Bruce Feiler’s newest book takes us on a jour­ney around the world to find some­thing many of us have lost: con­nec­tions, to our­selves and to oth­ers. In a time of epi­dem­ic lone­li­ness and liv­ing online, A Time to Gath­er: How Rit­u­al Cre­at­ed the World—and How It Can Save Us, reminds us that rit­u­al is what can anchor and con­nect us. He uses well-researched sto­ries to bring four pow­er­ful ques­tions to light: Why do we need life rit­u­als? When do we need life rit­u­als? How do we cre­ate a life rit­u­al? And final­ly, can rit­u­als save us? 

The seed of this book was plant­ed not when Feil­er was some­where far away, but rather when he was in his own home, return­ing from drop­ping his twin daugh­ters off at col­lege. In this new­found space in time, he writes of feel­ing unmoored when he walked back into his qui­et house. After a few weeks, he set out to trav­el the world in search of answers for what we do when we feel out of sync, unteth­ered, and dis­con­nect­ed. His find­ing is at once stun­ning and quo­tid­i­an: it is rit­u­al that we seek to find our way back to our­selves and each other.

As we fol­low Feiler’s trav­els, we meet Mis­sy in Cincin­nati, who has cre­at­ed a rit­u­al to help fam­i­lies of organ donors called an Hon­or Walk. We meet Broth­er Agnel­lo Stoia at the Vat­i­can, who is eager to show off a series of bap­tisms in St. Peter’s. We go to the Green-Wood Ceme­tery in New York for a Griev­ing & Weav­ing event. 

He writes that we can move from URL to IRL (in real life). And then he pro­ceeds to show us how, across six con­ti­nents. Many of the rit­u­als you might rec­og­nize, and oth­ers you might not; they include jump­ing the broom, divorce, and for­est bathing. Inter­spersed through­out is a primer on rit­u­als writ large.

Feil­er doesn’t take us on a trip around the world to see oth­ers engaged in rit­u­al. He, too, par­takes — vis­it­ing the mik­vah and sit­ting in Cen­tral Park with his fam­i­ly as they cre­ate their own rit­u­al while the wind howls. Whether you par­tic­i­pate in rit­u­als with great fre­quen­cy or hard­ly ever, you will want to after read­ing this book. Fur­ther­more, it is my sup­po­si­tion that you will want to do so with some­one else. For what Feil­er leaves us with is so pro­found in its sim­plic­i­ty: a time to gath­er togeth­er in the name of rit­u­al not only can save us, it arguably is already doing just that.