In her last posts, Melis­sa Broder con­duct­ed a Jew­ish vs. Goy­ish lit­mus test” for the year in review and shared the B‑Sides of her forth­com­ing When You Say One Thing but Mean Your Moth­er (Feb. 6).

Jon Stew­art 
got you stoned behind the bimah.

Joe Lieber­man 
wouldn’t stop talk­ing about Schindler’s List.

Ken­ny G. 
grew misty dur­ing Oseh Shalom.

felt you up at Mike D’s par­ents’ house.

Glo­ria Steinem 
took offense to the book of Genesis.

burned down the sukkah.

Rahm Emanuel 
wouldn’t stop talk­ing about Birthright.

Gene Sim­mons 
was very active” in youth group.

Bette Midler 
aced her Torah portion.

Court­ney Love 
was the mean girl.

Natal­ie Port­man 
was her minyan.

Jonathon Safran Foer 
wouldn’t stop talk­ing about Elie Wiesel’s Night.

Gertrude Stein 
had a thing” for Queen Vashti.

Paula Abdul 
sniffed glue­sticks.

Amy Wine­house 
took the teen tour by storm.

Ali­cia Sil­ver­stone
didn’t eat the kreplach.

Mark Cha­gall
wouldn’t stop talk­ing about Mark Chagall.

Bob Dylan 
ignored you.

Who did you go to Hebrew School with?

Melis­sa Broder is the author of When You Say One Thing but Mean Your Moth­er. She is the cura­tor of the Polestar Poet­ry Series and the Chief Edi­tor of La Petite Zine. She is the win­ner of the Jerome Low­ell Dejur Award and the Stark Prize for Poet­ry. Broder received her BA from Tufts Uni­ver­si­ty and is cur­rent­ly in the MFA pro­gram at the CCNY. By day, she works as a lit­er­ary pub­li­cist. Her poems have appeared in many jour­nals, includ­ing: Opi­um, Sham­poo, Con­te and The Del Sol Review. She lives in Brook­lyn. Vis­it her web­sitehttp://​www​.melissabroder​.com/.