“A long over­due real­i­ty check.” —Oprah Dai­ly
​“Hon­est, unapolo­getic, and bru­tal­ly fun­ny.” —Stephanie Dan­ler, New York Times best­selling author of Sweet­bit­ter
A Most Antic­i­pat­ed Book of 2025 by Oprah Dai­ly, Town & Coun­try, and Brit + Co
Bel­letrist Book Club Pick
The Times (Lon­don) Book of the Week

An unflinch­ing moth­er­hood mem­oir that dares to ask what hap­pens when ​“what to expect when you’re expect­ing” turns out to be months of rage, anguish, brain fog, and a total sur­ren­der of sex, career, and iden­ti­ty.

​“The kid was objec­tive­ly a tiny worm, even worse, a worm with my nose.” Wel­come to Sarah Hoover’s can­did and propul­sive take on moth­er­hood where she turns the ecsta­t­ic nar­ra­tive women have been fed — one of imme­di­ate con­nec­tion to your child fol­lowed by a joy­ful path of mater­nal dis­cov­ery — on its head.

Like most of us, Sarah Hoover grew up imag­in­ing a cer­tain life for her­self, and when she moved from Indi­ana to New York City to study art his­to­ry, the life she’d imag­ined began falling into place. She got her degree in art his­to­ry, land­ed a job in a gallery, made friends, and met inter­est­ing artists, one of whom became her hus­band. But when Hoover got preg­nant, every­thing in her life began to unrav­el.

She felt like an imposter in her own body. She grew dis­tant from her friends and hus­band. Anx­i­ety, fear, guilt, and shame threat­ened to swal­low her. She also expe­ri­enced trau­ma at the hands of one of her doc­tors — a stark trig­ger. And when her son was born, there was no… joy.

Her despair was per­sis­tent, even with help, ther­a­py, and pills. Griev­ing a lost iden­ti­ty and angry at the world around her, she found her­self despis­ing her baby, her hus­band, and her­self. She was afraid it might not end. With the help of a doctor’s diag­no­sis, Hoover began to under­stand the clus­ter of symp­toms that informed her expe­ri­ence — she was drown­ing in post­par­tum depres­sion — and that she wasn’t a bad moth­er or a failed woman.

At its core, The Moth­er­load is about learn­ing to for­give your­self. It’s a rejec­tion of the cul­tur­al idea of the moth­er as a per­fect being. And it’s an hon­est, propul­sive, and often fun­ny take on the vicis­si­tudes of mar­riage, life, and par­ent­ing — a moth­er­hood mem­oir unlike any other.