Welcome to the life of a Jewish Carrie Bradshaw in her fifties. Told with a blend of humor and pathos, Rachel J. Lithgow’s My Year of Really Bad Dates: A Memoir demonstrates how — with time, good friends, good therapy, and a glass of pinot noir — we can work through the difficulties in our lives and come out better for it.
After her divorce to a man she had been with for half her life and is the father of her two children, Lithgow settles into another relationship, only to have that upended nine months later. All of this, combined with a difficult childhood and the loss of one of her parents, culminates in her making choices that are, well, bad. But she learns as she goes. And she shows us that we can learn, too. That is the power of this memoir, her first book.
Primarily situated in New York City, like Carrie, Lithgow cycles through a series of bad dates, some downright disastrous. One after another, after another. Dating is completely different than it was for her younger self. Now, she often selects her potential suitors through dating apps. Sometimes these dates glimmer with promise; sometimes they do not even last for an hour.
It is one thing to say that you are going to change. Most of us say this at some point. Some of us say it quite frequently. However, it is a totally different undertaking to actually try something new, do something different. Nevertheless, Lithgow succeeds in doing so. In sharing her own journey, Lithgow simultaneously illustrates universal truisms that we can all relate to, be they stories of family, love, or loss, for example. Ultimately, she shows us that we don’t necessarily need the fairytale ending in order to put the tsuris behind us.
Dr. Beth Ricanati is a physician, speaker and the author of Braided: A Journey of a Thousand Challahs, a finalist for the National Jewish Book Award.
