My rabbi talks about our talents as blessings. “Use them share them enjoy them,” she says. That’s precisely what I wasn’t doing. I had everything I’d ever wanted but I felt trapped behind a scrim, like the smoked glass of an antique mirror with life on the other side, tantalizing and remote. I had been sexually abused and battered when I was a teenage dancer and my family — a volcanic father and remote mother — didn’t want to know. Many years later, when my older daughter teetered on the brink of adolescence, my fears swarmed around me like furies, the result of PTSD, threatening to alienate both my children and destroy my marriage. Then one night I discovered the obituary of a stranger, radiant and beloved, who HAD killed herself at age 27. Why would someone so “brilliant” and “beguiling” commit suicide? As I began to unravel her mystery I discovered startling truths about myself as a woman, wife, and mother— and as a survivor determined to convert the pain of the past into liberation and joy.
The Future Tense of Joy
- From the Publisher
May 16, 2017
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